Munchkin
by 0Shadow Panther0
Summary: In which Jackal decides to bake a cake and it leads to things that are decidedly not baking cakes.


so heres did a gift fic for **Baesaurus** , formerly known as **PornStarWaffles** (what do u even do to waffles that's pornographic i mean how) It took me way too long to do this, so sorry for the wait.

they wanted Jackal and Lucy and the prompt was "baking."

also this is a neutral-tartaros au in which tartaros is still a dark guild but at least they're not blowing anybody up and everyone is slightly less homicidal

slightly

 **PornStarWaffles**

Lucy could smell smoke coming from her kitchen.

It was five in the morning. She eyed the clock on the wall as if it was the source of world hunger.

Suddenly, there was a metallic, rattling sound, followed by a series of curses and-

Goddammit that was an explosion.

The blond groaned and rolled out of bed, intending to shuffle into the kitchen and yell a bit. Or maybe mumble. It was too early to yell.

She ambled towards the cursing, which was getting noticeably more creative and vulgar, and poked her head through the doorway.

"What," she asked flatly, "are you doing."

Jackal glanced up, startled, and averted his eyes equally as quickly, looking incredibly guilty.

"N-nothing," he muttered. There was something smoking behind him. Lucy squinted.

"Did you blow up my oven?"

Jackal flushed, embarrassed. "It was an accident!" he sputtered.

Lucy stared at him. "You blew up my oven," she said. "On accident."

The demon ducked his head down and kicked the ground awkwardly. "I was trying to ma..." His voice trailed off into a self-conscious mumble.

"I can't hear you," Lucy sighed, frowning at the oven. She idly hoped that it wouldn't catch fire and burn down the apartment.

" _Iwastryingtomakecakeforyou_!" he blurted out. As soon as the words were out, Jackal turned even redder and hid his face in his hands.

Lucy blinked. "A... cake?" she questioned. Why on earth would Jackal maker her a-

"Ah, It's our six month anniversary today, isn't it?"

Jackal and Lucy had met almost eight months prior, while Team Natsu had taken a job that called for the extermination of a dark guild- Tartaros. The guild hadn't actually _done_ anything yet, but it was known fact to the council that Tartaros' guild members were all demons, and it had been making the old coots antsy.

Being as desperate for money as they were, Team Natsu had taken the job without hesitation- demon extermination was actually fairly low-key compared to some of the misadventures they had gotten themselves into over the years.

Lucy had gotten separated from the group and encountered the fearsome, fluffy Tartaros bomber- Jackal- and beat the shit out of him alongside Aquarius and Loke. Of course, Jackal had promptly fell in love with her.

With all the members of Tartaros soundly beaten and scattered, and the guild itself dissolved, Team Natsu earned themselves a nice, fat paycheck- and Lucy earned herself a stalker.

Jackal had followed her around for a better part of a month, leaving her little "gifts-" odd little trinkets and the occasional flower- in front of her apartment door, which Lucy found sweet but more than a little weird.

Then, suddenly, Jackal had appeared at Fairy Tail, demanding membership with a cocky grin and an impressive show of flexing biceps- entirely for Lucy's benefit. She had been more than a little mortified when the demon had _winked_ at her from across the guild hall.

And so, in between convincing Jackal not to blow up Natsu and convincing Jackal that, no, Gray was not stripping for Lucy's specific enjoyment, he did that all the time, _please_ don't blow him up, they started dating. Awkwardly. (Lucy had quickly learned that, when it came to her, he didn't bark _or_ bite, but rather liked his belly rubbed.)

Almost month after Jackal had joined Fairy Tail, after clarifying that, yes, they were dating, and yes, it would mean that Jackal wouldn't have to watch her creepily from around the corner since he could just walk right next to her, they announced their relationship to the guild.

It... was not taken well.

Specifically, it was not taken well by Team Natsu.

Natsu had been particularly vocal- "Lucy, that bastard's not good enough for you! Even the stupid ice stripper would have been better!"- and Erza had threatened Jackal by swordpoint. Gray had made it a point to freeze every surface that Jackal attempted to sit on for a week. Wendy's reaction was the only one that didn't involve of bodily harm, which was to gape and the new couple with wide eyes and a flushed face before promptly stuttering what might have been 'congratulations' and running away.

Eventually, over the threat of righteous pain from Lucy, and more than a few cakes to placate Erza, her team had calmed down and accepted (kind of) Jackal into their oddball, dysfunctional group.

And so, six months later, Lucy was standing in her kitchen with a guilty demon and a blown up oven.

"Okay," Lucy said. "Uuuuuuh... Okay. The first order of business is to call a repairman and fix-" she waved her hand at the smoldering, smoking pile of crap that _used_ to be her oven- " _that_. And then we can try to bake a cake together."

Jackal nodded sullenly, looking more downcast than a bedraggled kitten. It was pretty adorable.

Lucy huffed and reached up to scratch the demon's ears. Jackal immediately melted into her touch, a low purr rumbling from his chest.

"Are you sure you should be called 'Jackal?'" she teased, grinning delightedly as her boyfriend lowered his chin onto her shoulder. "Maybe we should start calling you 'Caracal,' instead. Or maybe 'Munchkin."

"Don't you dare," Jackal huffed, attempting to look disgruntled. The effect was largely ruined by him blissfully closing his eyes and sighing contentedly as Lucy's fingers moved from his ear to his cheek, his tail held high.

* * *

An hour later, the repairman had come and gone, and the oven had been, quite literally, magically fixed.

Lucy poked her head into the fridge.

"Jackal?" Lucy called. "Did you use up all the eggs?"

Jackal blinked slowly, lifting his head from the couch where he had been lazing around. "Yeah."

Lucy pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "We're going to have to go to the market to get more." She eyed the empty cabinets suspiciously. "And probably get some more sugar and flour, too. How much did you use?"

"All of it."

Lucy stared at him. "Of course you did," she said, shaking her head.

She tapped the demon of the head. "C'mon, move your furry butt. You're coming to the market with me."

Jackal grumbled and whined, but eventually Lucy managed to roll Jackal off of the couch and shepherded him to their bedroom so they could both change.

Lucy was stripping down to her underclothes and leaning over to check her wardrobe when Jackal embraced her from behind. She squeaked and flushed bright red, feeling the curse-user's hard, toned muscles against her back.

Jackal rested his chin on her shoulder, reaching around her waist to grab some clothes. "You should wear this one," he suggested, pulling out a white, gold, and pink floral sundress.

Lucy blinked.

"That's... surprisingly normal," she commented, taking the offered dress. "I was kinda expecting you to ask me to wear a animal print bikini or something."

One of Jackal's eyebrows shot up. "Do you own one?" he asked, a crooked, leering grin painted on his face.

"What? No!" Lucy said defensively. "Pervert," she added, ducking out of his arms and pulling on the dress.

" _I'm_ the pervert? You're the one who suggested it," Jackal snickered.

Lucy huffed.

* * *

"Ah! The flour's over there!" Lucy exclaimed, nearly skipping through the streets, Jackal obediently following closely behind.

The street market was bustling with activity, civilians and guild members alike flocking towards the promise of cheap, fresh ingredients.

Jackal groaned. There were too many people. Rather, there were too many people he couldn't blow up. The demon hadn't taken a job in almost a month, and the pent up curse energy was starting to make him jittery. He flexed the claws of his hindlegs, gaining some small satisfaction from the way they scraped against the cobblestone.

His keen ears caught the sound of Lucy's voice as she bartered with a vendor, aggressively driving down the price of a carton of eggs, bags of flour and sugar, and a bottle of milk, and the soft, satisfied exhale she made afterward when she bought the items for half their original price, and-

"Hey girly! I can show you a good time- how about it?"

Jackal stiffened, his ears pricking and his lips curling into a snarl.

Lucy grimaced a little. "No, thank you," she said stiffly, attempting to subtly inch away from the leering man, only for him to forcefully push himself into her personal space.

The man grinned, sweeping his golden, shaggy hair away from his face. "The name's Aluco. And you?"

"I have a boyfriend," she deadpanned, her eyes flickering around in search of Jackal.

Aluco threw back his head and laughed. "Never stopped me before," he purred, reaching a long arm around Lucy's shoulders.

The celestial mage reached into her grocery bag and pulled out an egg, turning over in her hands with a disinterested gaze-

And promptly smashed it against Aluco's face.

"Don't. Touch. Me," she grit out.

He slowly wiped his hands against his cheek, staring at the yolk-covered fingers in disbelief.  
"Y- you-" he sputtered. "You _whore_ ," Aluco snarled, grabbing Lucy's shoulder and yanking her towards him. "I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll _never_ forget."

Jackal snapped.

" _You son of a bitch_!" he roared, the curse forming in his hands without a thought. The ground beneath Aluco exploded, and the man was sent flying, slamming into the cold, unforgiving cobblestone.

The demon advanced on the fallen man. Aluco choked and tried to scramble away, only to be pinned down by a clawed foot.

"C-calm down, man," Aluco whimpered. "I didn't know she was yours, I swear I-"

" _Shut_. _Up_ ," Jackal spat.

The stone to the left of Aluco's head detonated, and the man shrieked as the shrapnel tore through his skin.

"She doesn't _belong_ to anyone," Jackal growled. "She's not _mine_ , and she's sure as hell ain't _yours_." Each emphasized word was punctuated with another explosion, each closer to Aluco's head than the last, and the final one catching the edge of Aluco's ear in its radius. Aluco was sobbing, blubbering out apologies and begging for mercy.

A feral grin spread across Jackal's face. "What did you say to her? 'I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget?'" The demon brought a hand, rippling with energy, an inch away from Aluco's wide, trembling eyes. "You're gonna wish you could forget once I'm done with you."

Jackal curled his hand into a fist, bringing it up and readying to smash it into the bastard's disgusting, pitiful face and-

"Jackal."

He froze.

Lucy stared at him, a pained look in her eyes, standing among the smoldering rocks. The street was completely empty, most of the civilians fleeing at the first sign of danger.

"Let's go home," she said quietly.

* * *

Jackal lay curled up on the couch, his head in Lucy's lap as she gingerly stroked his hair.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, refusing to look her in the eye.

Lucy paused in her ministrations.

"I went too far," Jackal continued. "I snapped, and I just- I didn't think. I almost hurt you."

"But you didn't," she reassured him. "And you stopped as soon as I asked you to. I'm glad."

Jackal let out a low, contented rumble. "I'm such an ass. What did I do to deserve you?"

"Absolutely nothing," Lucy joked. Then, more seriously, she said, "I loved you of my own accord. It doesn't matter if you 'deserve' me or not, I love _you_. I chose _you_ to spend my life with."

Jackal flushed from his neck to the tips of his ears. "You make it sound like we're already married," he mumbled, his tail flicking with embarrassment.

Lucy hummed, scratching behind his ears.

"You wanna finish making that cake now?" she asked, gently shifting the demon's prone body off of her so she could get up.

Jackal blinked. "You still want to?"

Lucy nodded, flashing him a bright, genuine smile. "It is our anniversary, after all."

He stared at her, a grin slowly spreading across his features. "Let's do it."

* * *

Lucy sifted some flour while Jackal clumsily cracked some eggs, swearing as he scooped out the little bits of eggshell that fell into the bowl.

"You wanna switch?" Lucy offered, eyeing the mess of broken egg shells and sloppy yokes judgmentally.

Jackal grimaced and pushed the bowl towards Lucy, trading it for the massive container of flour and the sifter.

"Just pour some flour into the sifter and tap it until most of the flour goes through into the bowl," Lucy instructed, already cracking the eggs with twice the speed and efficiency Jackal.

The demon dumped flour into the sifter and tapped-

And the flour promptly exploded.

The white powder caked him thoroughly from head to chest, and he sputtered violently, attempting to shake it off like a dog with water.

Lucy gasped, one hand over her mouth, her shoulders shaking with barely suppressed giggles.

Jackal stared the sifter like it had starting spouting romantic poetry at him- with horror and irritation.

Lucy broke into hysterical, cackling laughter.

"Y-your face!" she wheezed between giggles, desperately trying to catch her breath. "You- you looked so surprised!"

"S-shut up!" he retorted, shaking his head violently to try to rid himself of fine, white powder. It clung to his hair and face stubbornly, resisting his attempts to dislodge it.

Lucy grabbed a cloth from the counter and tossed it at him, snickering. Jackal snatched it out of the air with a threatening growl, angrily scrubbing his face.

"Maybe you shouldn't shake the sifter so hard," Lucy suggested.

Jackal sniffed and turned back to his job- much more gingerly than before.

* * *

Over an hour later, the cake was finally finished and stored safely in the newly fixed oven.

Jackal flicked his tail impatiently. "How long do we have to wait for the stupid thing?" he complained, nose twitching as the sweet aroma of chocolate permeated the room.

"Forty minutes," Lucy answered easily, curled up on the couch, furiously scribbling across her manuscript.

Jackal groaned. And then he grinned.

"Hey," he purred, shamelessly draping himself across Lucy's lap, ignoring her angry sputters as he lay over her papers. "I know a way we can _pass the time_ , if you know what I mean."

Lucy muttered something under her breath and shoved Jackal off her lap, and he tumbled gracelessly to the floor.

"I'm _working_ you little _turd_ ," she scowled, and turned back to her writing.

Jackal gaped at her from where he was sprawled on the floor. " _Excuse me_?!"

Lucy ignored him.

Jackal stared for a good, long minute before realizing that puppy eyes wouldn't work on someone who wasn't even looking at him before settling more comfortably on the floor, leaning against Lucy's leg.

She dropped a hand down, absentmindedly running her fingers through the demon's thick, silky hair, and Jackal leaned into her touch, a low, rumbling purr reverberating through his whole body.

"I love you so much," he murmured dreamily.

Lucy froze.

"Lucy? What's wrong? What did I do?" Jackal asked, turning, concern and confusion marring flickering in his eyes.

Lucy was practically scarlet, she was blushing so much. "Y-you..." she stammered.

"What?"

"You've never said you loved me before," she mumbled, burying her face in her hands.

Jackal blinked. "Of course I have." Paused. "Haven't I?"

He scoured his mind for any memories of him confessing his love to Lucy.

" _Hey. I like you. Wanna go out?_ "

" _You are my most precious person. I won't ever let you go._ "

" _I'm so glad I met you."_

" _Thank you for saving me from myself._ "

"Huh," Jackal said. "I guess I really never did tell you."

Lucy continued to hide her face in her hands.

Jackal twisted around and rested his head on Lucy's lap. "Now you know for sure," he grinned.

Lucy huffed and looked away, the red fading to a warm, glowing pink.

The pair settled into a comfortable silence, broken by the occasional purr from Jackal and the soft scratching of pen on paper.

The loud beeping of the oven startled Jackal out of his reverie, and his ear flicked in irritation. He let out an annoyed grumble as Lucy dislodged him to check on the cake, quickly curling up in vacated warm patch on the couch.

"The cake's ready!" Lucy called from the kitchen. The heavy, sweet smell of chocolate cake wafted into the room, and Jackal's sensitive nose twitched, and he felt himself drool a little.

He lingered on the couch for just a moment longer before he rolled off, arching his back and stretching languidly.

The demon padded into the kitchen. Lucy grinned at him from the counter, a large, fluffy cake cradled gingerly in her gloved hands.

She set the it down and reached up for some plates, and Jackal took the opportunity to snatch a bit of confection and pop it into his mouth, savoring the way the light, airy cake melted in his mouth. He reached for another bite, only to be slapped away by Lucy.

"No," she said firmly, and Jackal let out a long suffering sigh.

Jackal settled onto a stool and gazed at his girlfriend intently, tail swishing with impatience, as Lucy cut into the cake with surgical precision.

Eventually, a perfect slice of cake was slid over to him in a pale pink plate.

Jackal shoved it into his mouth and finished it in under a minute.

Lucy raised an eyebrow as Jackal held out his plate expectantly, eyes round and wide.

"One more piece," she sighed. "We can have the rest for dessert later, okay?"

Jackal nodded obediently, and Lucy placed another piece onto his plate.

Jackal took more time to enjoy his second piece, nibbling on it as Lucy sat by the counter took small, delicate bites out of hers.

"Thish ish really gurd," Jackal mumbled through a mouth full of food.

Lucy grimaced a little. "Don't talk while you're eating," she scolded.

Jackal swallowed. "This is really good," he repeated, and proceeded to take a rather large bite.

"Of course it is," Lucy sniffed. "I made it."

He snickered.

Lucy smiled gently and leaned against him lightly. "I wish days like this would never end," she murmured.

Jackal draped an arm around her, holding her close. "Me too," he said.

They stayed cuddled together for the rest of the day.

 **Baesaurus**

A/N: this is long. for me at least. 60% of the time i had no idea where i was going with this so heres a ton of fluff. like, 3k words of fluff. i hope you liked this **Baesaurus**!


End file.
